Dan from Muswell Hill, counselling for social anxiety:

"I have suffered from anxiety for what seems like most of my adult life. Over the last few years, it has really got in the way of me doing things. From working with Andrew, I realised I was suffering from what he called 'social anxiety'."

The Problem

In my social life, I ended up avoiding events like parties and after-work drinks. Once I even ducked out of a good friend's wedding, which left me feeling really bad about myself. My head would fill with horrible thoughts about how I am not interesting to talk to, and how people don't tend to like me. I would imagine standing by myself feeling nervous with a drink in my hand, whilst the other party goers would be talking, laughing and having a really good time.

My social anxiety also affected my work. I would have thoughts full of dread when my boss would want to talk to me about the state of my projects. I would also have a great deal of difficulty sitting in meetings. I would get really anxious about being asked a question I couldn't answer. I would have nasty thoughts about how I would make a fool of myself if I had to speak up, and how stupid I would look.

Even if I did know what to say in the meetings, I would usually sound all nervous, my voice would shake, and I found the fear of this happening made my ability to talk in public even worse. I ended up calling in sick for work on days when there was a big meeting or if I had to give a presentation.

I don't know for sure, but I think my boss was starting to see a pattern, and I was worried that he might confront me and ask me what was going on. At this time I started seeing Andrew for anxiety counselling in his Muswell Hill clinic.

The Solution

I saw Andrew for about six months and I feel I made real progress. I learned how my thoughts and feeling worked together to make me anxious, and how I had unknowingly been my own worst enemy.

By routinely avoiding the situations that made me anxious, I was learning that I was not capable of facing life's challenges. I had unconsciously taught myself that the only way I could get through the horrible thoughts and feelings that made my life so hard was to run away from the events that triggered them.

The outcome was that I had robbed myself of the ability to see that I was much more capable than I usually think and feel I am. I saw that my self-image and esteem have taken a real battering due to my avoidance, and this was all making the anxiety worse and my life much smaller.