Be Heard, Gain Insight, and Change
Anxiety, addiction and relationship specialist in Crouch End
Feeling Overwhelmed, Stuck, or Worn Down by Dread or Anxiety?
If you are struggling with ongoing worry, panic, compulsive habits, or relationship difficulties, you are not alone.
Many people come to therapy feeling exhausted by their thoughts, unsure why things have not improved, or quietly fearing that something is wrong with them.
Accredited Counsellor and Psychotherapist in Crouch End
I’m Andrew Martin, an accredited counsellor and psychotherapist with over 21 years of experience, based in Crouch End (N8) North London.
I specialise in working with people who feel caught in ongoing anxiety, worry, dread, or a persistent sense that something is not quite right. This includes anxiety disorders such as social anxiety, OCD, health anxiety, generalised anxiety disorder, and other long standing patterns of fear and worry.
I also work extensively with addiction and compulsive behaviours, and with relationship difficulties for individuals and couples.
My approach is calm, supportive, and practical. I help people understand what is keeping them stuck, while gently building the skills and confidence needed to feel more grounded and in control again. Therapy with me is about taking the time to understand what you are carrying, whether that is anxiety, sadness, or something harder to name, and gently supporting the kind of change that helps things begin to feel different, not just talked about.
My Approach to Counselling
The best counselling works when the approach matches your needs and goals, whether you want to explore the past or focus on practical solutions.
My integrative approach combines evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), delivered in a supportive and collaborative style.
I specialise in helping people manage anxiety disorders, overcome addictive or compulsive behaviours, and work through relationship difficulties. My practice is based in Crouch End (N8), and I also work with many clients from the nearby Muswell Hill (N10) area. My goal is to provide counselling and psychotherapy that gives you both insight and practical tools to make lasting changes.
Click here to learn more about my qualifications and experience.
What To Expect
Your first counselling session is an opportunity for us to get to know each other and to explore what has brought you here. We might talk about the difficulties you are facing, such as anxiety, stress, OCD, health anxiety, panic attacks, or relationship challenges. This is also a chance for you to ask me questions about the counselling process, and I will explain everything as clearly as possible.
I will outline important aspects such as confidentiality, my approach to therapy, and what working together might look like. By the end of the session, you should have a good sense of whether you feel comfortable with me and whether you’d like to continue.
From my side, I will listen carefully, begin to understand your concerns, and share initial thoughts on the therapeutic direction I recommend. If we both feel there is a good fit, we can agree on a regular weekly session. These sessions are your dedicated time, giving you consistency and space to focus on change.
Counselling sessions usually last 50 minutes and take place at The Vale Practice in Crouch End (N8). I also work with many clients from Muswell Hill (N10), Highgate, and across North London, and my goal is to provide a space where you can make lasting changes.
What do you need help with?
I specialise in counselling for anxiety disorders, addictive behaviours, and relationship difficulties. Many people come to me for help with issues such as OCD, health anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, stress, or alcohol use. Others want support with relationship problems, whether as an individual or as part of a couple.
You can click on any of the topics below to read more about how I work with these difficulties and the types of therapy that may help.
I’m always happy to answer questions, so please feel free to contact me.
Private Healthcare Insurance
I am a registered provider with many of the leading private healthcare organisations. If you have private health insurance that covers counselling, psychotherapy, or addiction counselling, you may find that they will pay for some of the cost of seeing me.
I am a registered provider with Aviva Healthcare, Cigna Healthcare, WPA, and Vitality Health.
If your healthcare provider isn't mentioned above, it's still likely they may cover your treatment. Please feel free to email me so we can discuss it further. Unfortunately, I do not work with patients insured by Axa PPP or BUPA. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
Article: The Antidotes to the Four Horsemen
In a previous article, I looked at what relationship researcher Dr John Gottman called the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" – criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. These patterns can create distance, misunderstanding and resentment between partners.
Fortunately, Gottman's research did not stop at identifying problems. He also explored what successful couples do differently.
For each of the four horsemen, he identified an antidote: a healthier way of responding when relationships become difficult. These antidotes are not communication techniques designed to help one partner "win" an argument. Instead, they help create conversations that feel safer, more respectful and more productive.
Gentle Start-Up
The antidote to criticism is what Gottman calls a gentle start-up. When people feel hurt or frustrated, it is easy to begin a conversation with blame. Unfortunately, when a discussion starts with criticism, the other person is likely to become defensive almost immediately. A gentle start-up means talking about your own experience rather than attacking your partner's character.
For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you might say, "I've been feeling a bit unheard lately and I'd like us to talk about it." The issue is still being addressed, but in a way that is less likely to trigger conflict.
Taking Responsibility
The antidote to defensiveness is taking responsibility. This does not mean accepting blame for things you have not done. It means being willing to acknowledge your own contribution to a difficulty, even if it is only a small part. In many arguments, both partners are waiting for the other person to admit fault first. The result is often a stalemate.
Taking responsibility can interrupt this cycle. A simple statement such as, "I can see how my tone came across badly," often creates more movement than a lengthy defence.
Building Appreciation
The antidote to contempt is building appreciation and respect. Contempt tends to grow when people become focused on what is wrong with their partner. Over time, positive qualities can become harder to notice.
Couples who maintain a strong relationship are often intentional about recognising what they value in one another. This does not mean ignoring problems. Rather, it means ensuring that frustrations do not become the whole story. Small expressions of gratitude, affection and appreciation can help strengthen the emotional foundation of a relationship.
Self-Soothing
The antidote to stonewalling is self-soothing. When people become emotionally overwhelmed, they often struggle to think clearly, listen effectively or respond calmly. At these moments, continuing an argument is rarely productive.
Self-soothing involves recognising when you are becoming flooded and taking a break to calm your nervous system before returning to the conversation. Importantly, this is not the same as walking away indefinitely. The intention is to pause, recover and then re-engage.
A Different Way of Thinking About Conflict
One of the most encouraging aspects of Gottman's work is that healthy relationships are not defined by the absence of conflict. They are defined by how conflict is managed. Arguments do not usually damage relationships because people disagree. More often, relationships suffer when partners become trapped in cycles of criticism, defensiveness, contempt and withdrawal.
The antidotes offer a way out of these cycles. They help couples move away from blame and towards understanding, away from proving a point and towards maintaining a connection.
In my experience, meaningful change often begins when couples stop asking, "How do I get my partner to change?" and start asking, "How can I respond differently in this moment?" Small changes in how we approach one another can sometimes have a surprisingly powerful effect on the relationship as a whole.
Client's Experience
Therapy offers a space to better understand yourself and your emotional responses. It can help you to recognise patterns in your relationships, make sense of past experiences, and find new ways of relating to yourself and others.
Clinic Locations
Crouch End N8
Parking in Crouch End
For counselling or psychotherapy in Crouch End, North London, there is free parking most of the day with some exceptions. Try to leave an extra ten minutes just in case it is hard to get a space.
Get in touch
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how counselling works, or to arrange an initial assessment appointment.
This gives us a chance to discuss what has brought you to counselling, whether it may be helpful for you, and whether I am the right therapist to support you.
All enquiries are treated in the strictest confidence and handled securely. I will respond to your message as soon as I am able.