Counselling for Social Anxiety
Crouch End and Muswell Hill
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety, sometimes called social phobia, is an intense fear of social situations.
Social anxiety affects far more people than most realise. It often shows up as a fear of being judged, criticised, or embarrassed in everyday situations. Even simple things like speaking in a group, meeting new people, making small talk, or attending social or work events can trigger intense worry long before anything actually happens.
How Social Anxiety Feels
People with social anxiety are frequently haunted by worries about what others think of them. Common fears include:
- “People will think I’m boring or strange”
- “I’m being judged”
- “I don’t fit in”
- “Everyone can see how nervous I am”
This can become especially intense in new or uncertain situations, where the possibility of being observed or evaluated feels overwhelming.
You may also notice physical symptoms such as:
- Blushing or flushing of the face or neck
- Heart racing
- Sweating
- Feeling shaky or light-headed
These sensations are not only uncomfortable, they often increase anxiety because of the fear that others can see them.
Avoidance and the Anxiety Cycle
Over time, these fears can lead to avoidance, self-doubt, and a growing sense of missing out on life. You might gradually withdraw from situations like parties, after-work drinks, birthday gatherings, or even casual lunches with colleagues.
Unfortunately, the more you avoid, the stronger the anxiety becomes. Life slowly narrows, and situations that once felt manageable begin to feel impossible.
For example, you might initially avoid a party because you imagine standing alone feeling self-conscious. Later, you may skip the regular Friday drinks because you worry you’re “not as interesting” as others. Eventually, even sitting in the staff canteen may feel daunting. Confidence is eroded and life is limited by thoughts like:
- “I won’t know what to say”
- “They’ll think I’m boring”
- “I’ll go red”
- “I’ll look foolish”
How Therapy Helps
Therapy offers a way to break this cycle. Together, we look at:
- what triggers the anxiety
- why the thoughts and fears feel so convincing
- how physical symptoms and avoidance keep the anxiety going
- practical ways to reduce the intensity of these reactions
Understanding the maintenance cycle of social anxiety helps everything make sense. It brings relief and the hope that change is possible. From there, we work on building confidence, reducing symptoms, and gradually reclaiming the situations that anxiety has taken away.
With the right support, it is entirely possible to feel calmer, more grounded, and more at ease around others. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety entirely, but to reduce its power so you can live a fuller, more rewarding life.