Counselling for Social Anxiety
Crouch End and Muswell Hill
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is not just shyness or nerves. It is a persistent sense of fear and self consciousness around other people that can quietly take over everyday life.
If you struggle with social anxiety, much of your mental energy may be spent worrying about how you are coming across. You might replay conversations in your head, notice every pause or stumble, or feel tense long before a social situation even arrives. Everyday interactions that others take for granted can feel loaded with risk.
Even simple situations like speaking in a group, meeting new people, making small talk, or attending social or work events can trigger a wave of dread. Often the anxiety starts days or weeks in advance, long before anything has actually happened.
How Social Anxiety Feels
People with social anxiety often describe a constant fear of being judged, criticised, or exposed in some way. Common thoughts include:
• People will think I am boring or strange
• I do not fit in
• Everyone can see how nervous I am
• I am being judged
These fears can feel very convincing, especially in new or uncertain situations where you do not know what to expect. It can feel as if there is something about you that others will notice and react to negatively.
Alongside the mental strain, social anxiety often shows up physically. You may experience:
• Blushing or flushing
• A racing heart
• Sweating
• Shaking or feeling light headed
These sensations are uncomfortable in themselves, but they can also increase anxiety further if you worry that other people can see them.
The Pull Towards Avoidance
Over time, these fears can lead to avoidance, self-doubt, and a growing sense of missing out on life. You might gradually withdraw from situations like parties, after-work drinks, birthday gatherings, or even casual lunches with colleagues. Unfortunately, the more you avoid, the stronger the anxiety becomes. Life slowly narrows, and situations that once felt manageable begin to feel impossible.
For example, you might initially avoid a party because you imagine standing alone feeling self-conscious. Later, you may skip the regular Friday drinks because you worry you’re “not as interesting” as others. Eventually, even sitting in the staff canteen may feel daunting.
Confidence is eroded and life is limited by thoughts like:
- “I won’t know what to say”
- “They’ll think I’m boring”
- “I’ll go red”
- “I’ll look foolish”
- "I am not interested enough"
This can leave people feeling frustrated, isolated, and stuck, knowing that anxiety is limiting their life but unsure how to change it.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy offers a space to slow this cycle down and understand it more clearly. Rather than pushing you into anything you are not ready for, the focus is on making sense of your experience.
Together, we look at:
• What triggers your anxiety
• Why certain thoughts feel so believable
• How physical symptoms and avoidance keep anxiety going
• Ways to reduce the intensity and grip of these reactions
As understanding grows, anxiety often begins to feel less mysterious and less frightening. This can bring a sense of relief and the possibility of change. From there, we work at a pace that feels manageable, helping you build confidence and gradually feel more at ease around others.
The aim is to reduce its power so it no longer runs your life, had to become confident in your ability to cope with things that used to frighten you.
Taking the Next Step
If social anxiety is affecting your life, you do not have to work this out on your own.
I offer a free 15 minute phone consultation where we can talk things through and see whether I might be able to help. There is no pressure or obligation, just a chance to ask questions and get a sense of what support might feel right for you.
You are welcome to get in touch.